The “Big Beautiful Budget Bill” (The Donald’s words, not mine), the crown jewel of Trump’s second term, has officially become a test of who’s more committed to fiscal lunacy: MAGA populists, establishment swamp things, or Green New Scam groupies.

The Senate managed to squeeze this Frankenstein’s monster of a bill through by the grafted skin of its teeth. But now it’s holed up in the House. Speaker of the House, “Useless” Mike Johnson, is sweating bullets, trying to herd Republican cats—many of whom are sharpening their cutting knives for this pork barrel embarrassment.

The MAGA Math Problem

Let’s be real: nothing says “conservative revolution” like blowing out the deficit by more than the Democrats did. The Senate version of the bill—crafted in the spirit of Ronald Reagan, but ghostwritten by Paul Krugman on LSD—adds a casual $3.4 trillion to the deficit over the next decade. That’s a full trillion more than the House version.

The kicker? Trump still wants it passed by July 4th so he can declare “economic independence” at his rally in Tampa. But unless the House passes the exact Senate bill—no amendments, no tweaks, no MAGA flourishes—this sucker heads back for another Senate showdown. And we all know how reliable Senate Republicans are when the cameras are off.

Chip Roy: The Last Texan Standing

Chip Roy is acting like the adult in the room, which tells you everything you need to know. He’s demanding a full repeal of the Inflation Reduction Act’s green energy tax credits. Roy calls them “Green New Scam subsidies”—a polite way of saying “Chinese solar panel welfare.”

If you read the below tweet, it’ll make perfect sense to you.

Credit: @chiproytx

Why aren’t Green New Scam subsidies scrapped in the Senate version of the bill?

Why are illegals getting Medicaid in the Senate version?

Why are there any taxpayer-funded transgender surgeries in the Senate version?

Roy also has “massive reservations” about the Medicaid cuts (which could boot 12 million people off the rolls by 2034), and thinks the bill’s spending levels belong in Brussels, not Washington. Roy is no pushover. But if even he admits parts of the Medicaid plan are “a little better than expected,” you know the bar is low… somewhere beneath Mar-a-Lago’s wine cellar.

Musk Goes Nuclear

Enter Elon Musk, who woke up, read the bill, and decided to launch a political neutron bomb. He called the bill a “disgusting abomination” and a “debt bomb,” which, to be fair, are probably the nicest things he’s said in a while. They also happen to be the truth.

But what is Musk’s real beef? Probably the rollbacks on green energy and EV incentives. Without those subsidies, Tesla starts looking like a niche toy company for the Left Coast set (if he can still sell cars there).

Here are the numbers: The Senate version of the bill abolishes the $7,500 tax credit for new EVs purchased or leased after September 30, 2025. The bill also eliminates the $4,000 credit for used EVs. The 30% federal tax credit for residential solar, vital for Tesla’s solar business, is removed. Finally, the bill ends certain carbon credits that Tesla has relied on for a significant portion of its quarterly earnings.

So Elon’s doing what Elon does—threatening to bankroll primary challenges against GOP supporters of the bill and (because why not?) float a brand-new political party.

We can only hope he names it something tasteful, like the CyberPopulists or the Gigafiscal Guard.

Thomas Massie and the “Everything Bagel of Doom”

Congressman Thomas Massie, perennial thorn in the side of big government (and sometimes just government, period), is also throwing down the gauntlet. His complaint isn’t just about the contents of the bill—it’s about the container.

To Massie, this bill is an everything bagel with extra pork. Massie wants to nuke omnibus bills altogether.

An omnibus bill is a single legislative document that packages together multiple measures, usually covering a wide range of unrelated topics, into one bill that is voted on as a whole. The term "omnibus" originates from Latin, meaning "for all" or "everything," and reflects the bill's comprehensive inclusion of numerous provisions.

The swamp relies on this nonsense to pass unpopular provisions by linking them to essential spending. In essence, Massie is sick of being forced to vote yes on a bunch of swamp sludge just to keep military paychecks or tax cuts from getting torpedoed. 

To Massie, the bill is legislative extortion disguised as governance. He warns the U.S. credit rating could slip to BBB, which would put us only two rungs above junk bond status. That would make issuing debt far more expensive than it already is. The lower the credit rating, the higher the credit risk. Issuers compensate bond investors for this risk by paying them higher coupon payments.

Rand Paul, Doing Rand Paul Things

Meanwhile, Senator Rand Paul is doing his best Cassandra impression, screaming into the void about how this bill adds $270 billion to the deficit next year alone. He wants the debt ceiling hike stripped out completely, because—surprise!—it adds five trillion dollars in new borrowing capacity.

Paul voted no. Then he voted no again. And if he could, he’d probably show up tomorrow just to vote no a third time, bless his cotton socks.

The Party’s Over… But Nobody’s Leaving

What’s truly stunning is not that Trump wants a big budget bill. This is what “fiscal conservatism” looks like in 2025. Trump’s allies want the spending and the tax cuts. They want to gut green energy and increase Medicaid coverage (just not too much). They want to cut the deficit but still raise the debt ceiling by five trillion.

This isn’t a budget—it’s a psychedelic fever dream stitched together by interns hopped up on Monster Energy and Keynesian economics TikToks.

In any sane era, this bill would be laughed out of Congress. But this is not a sane era. This is the age of Elastic Money and Infinite Excuses. The MAGA crowd used to chant “Drain the Swamp.” Now they’re filling it back up with tax credits, unfunded mandates, and Musk’s salty tears.

The truth hurts, I know.

Wrap Up

Here’s the real problem: the bill is too big, too vague, and too packed with booby traps for anyone with principles to vote for it. But the incentives in Washington no longer reward principle—they reward theatrics. And right now, Trump wants fireworks for the Fourth.

Will House Republicans give him the Big Beautiful Budget Bomb he wants?

Or will they finally remember that debt, deficits, and crony capitalism matter?

We’ll find out soon enough. Until then, keep your powder dry—and your budget balanced.