The Geriatric Rematch of the Century inches closer.

Donald J. Trump, “The Donald,” is one step closer to his destiny, a showdown with Joke Biden.

The man everyone thought would start World War III will meet the man who actually started it for an Oval Office so tarnished they should call it “The Rotten Egg.”

The results weren’t close, which only frustrated the purple-haired body-positive sideline reporters. No folks, plenty of people showed up despite 25 inches of snow blanketing the midwestern state.

Credit: The New York Times

Credit: The New York Times

Trump Takes the Field Without An Insult Being Fired

In a seven-person race, Trump managed to win over 50% of the vote.

Trump was right not to participate in the debates. There’s simply no need.

Hilariously, his decision not to participate in the debates made his opponents believe they had a fighting chance when they did not.

If I were Trump, I’d send DeSantis back to Florida as governor with no job in DC, ignore Haley and hope she descends into oblivion, and hire Vivek. Immediately.

Vivek Drops Out; Trump Says He Did a “Hell of a Job”

Vivek Ramaswamy never had a chance at the top job. I don’t think America can handle his loud intelligence as the commander-in-chief.

But, my goodness, does it need a man like him to drain the swamp!

I wouldn’t give Vivek either the Department of State or Treasury. Even Defense is outside his wheelhouse. But Secretary of the Interior or Secretary of Commerce would be two good alternatives for a man of his talents.

He’d be loyal and actually act. He could do the things Trump wouldn’t do in his first term, giving Trump plausible deniability the entire time.

DeSantis Edges Out Neocon Nutcase Nikki for Second

Surprisingly, Ron DeSantis pipped Nikki Haley at the post.

Perhaps Governor Go-Go Boots gave up his high-heeled cowboy boots. Who knows?

He did look his normal height, though. 

But how’s this for Guardian tripe?

Meanwhile Haley, the former South Carolina governor, had been seen as Republicans’ most moderate choice, with a better chance to beat Joe Biden in the general election than the candidates to her right.

I don’t know a single person who thinks Haley is a centrist. She’s a lunatic neocon who wants to set the world on fire. I’m thrilled she came in third.

Binkley, Hutchinson, and Christie Should Bow Out

Why did these guys even participate? Chris Christie? Come on.

A Market Rally For Biden?

Oh boy, here it comes.

As you know, the Rude has maintained its bullishness despite the potential headwinds to the economy. And you know me well enough to know I think the real economy stinks to high heaven.

But none of that matters… yet.

Because the disconnect between the real economy and the stock market is too big.

The major indices were up big last week, though the Russell 2000 was not.

And now, thanks to Nick Timiraos of The Wall Street Journal, otherwise known as “Nikileaks,” we see what the Fed is trying to do.

From yesterday’s Journal:

Fed officials are to start deliberations on slowing, though not ending, that so-called quantitative tightening as soon as their policy meeting this month. It could have important implications for financial markets.

The Fed can shrink its holdings by selling bonds or, as it has preferred, allowing bonds to mature and “run off” its balance sheet without buying new ones. Runoff increases the supply of bonds that investors must absorb, putting upward pressure on long-term interest rates. Slowing runoff reduces that upward pressure.

But whereas the Fed expects to cut short-term interest rates this year because inflation has fallen, its rationale for tapering bond runoff is different: to prevent disruption to an obscure yet critical corner of the financial markets.

Five years ago, balance-sheet runoff sparked upheaval in those markets, forcing a messy U-turn. Officials are determined not to do that again.

So we’ll have a few rate cuts and no balance sheet runoff while allowing the Federal Government to spend money like drunken sailors.

Jay Powell doesn’t want to work for Trump again. Period. He prefers a less volatile boss.

As Annie Lennox might have sung, “Here comes the liquidity again…”

Peace in Ukraine?

Do you know what else would save Biden’s bacon?

Peace in Ukraine.

Someone - and that’s the… ahem… “Churchillian” Zelensky - finally figured out the meatgrinder he turned his country into.

From Zero Hedge:

President Volodymyr Zelensky appears increasingly more serious about pursuing peace negotiations to end the war, and this was on display in comments issued by his top aide headed into the World Economic Forum (WEF) in Davos, Switzerland.

Ukraine’s presidential chief of staff, Andriy Yermak, on Sunday, explained that Kiev now believes it is crucial for China to be at the table for future talks on its peace formula. "China needs to be involved in talks to end the war with Russia," the Ukrainian top representative said following diplomatic meetings going into the WEF. China remains the most influential Global South country widely viewed as squarely in Russia's corner, having refused to rebuke Moscow or join Western-led sanctions after two years of the conflict.

Boy, would that take some pressure off Biden!

The Davos Men are so happy about the peace, all the hookers are booked out!

Again, from Zero Hedge:

In a separate report, the French newspaper "20 Minutes" sheds even more light into this year's hooker-fest' at Davos:

But anyone who wants to book an escort via the matching platform "Titt4Tat" in the Davos region, or even in eastern Switzerland, will be disappointed.

"All local service providers are completely booked during the WEF week," confirms owner B. Konrad. The explanation: People kept to themselves in Davos, and their partners mostly stayed home. In addition, alcohol and parties contribute to the high demand for his service, according to the co-founder.

"Apart from that, there are many customers in Davos who are not price-sensitive and who value the privacy of our app all the more," explains Konrad. In general, it's less about sex and more about the so-called "girlfriend experience," i.e., the pretense of an intimate relationship.

Wrap Up

The Donald wins, the Fed prints, and the market will rally.

If we get peace in Ukraine, the US can redirect the military-industrial complex’s ire to the Houthis and then, maybe, Taiwan.

Meanwhile, Davos Man must get more creative if he wants his piece.

Have a great week!