Happy Friday!

We’re finally here.

But not before some diplomatic shenanigans led to a much-talked-about deal between the US and Russia.

Some in the Twitterverse (follow me @seaniechaos) have called it the “Herschel Walker trade” all over again.

Sadly, the runner-up for the Georgia Senate seat would probably agree.

Here’s ESPN to refresh your memory:

In a deal that involved a whopping six players and twelve draft picks, the Cowboys laid the groundwork for their Super Bowl teams of the 1990s by trading running back Herschel Walker to Minnesota on Oct. 12, 1989. In exchange for Walker, Dallas received five players, six conditional draft choices, and a 1992 first-round pick.

The trade that would give the Cowboys three Super Bowl victories in the nineties and Jimmy Johnson his Hall of Fame bust in Canton looked terrible at first… for the Cowboys.

Though they had finished 1-15 in the 1989 season, the trade paved the way for the acquisitions of Emmitt Smith, Russell Maryland, and Darren Woodson. Michael Irvin and Troy Aikman were already on the Cowboys’ roster.

After making deep playoff runs in 1987 and 1988, Minnesota thought Walker was the missing piece to a Super Bowl-winning squad. They were wrong.

Now, sports executives worldwide are fearful of getting “Herschel Walkered.” That’s why free agency has replaced monster trades like this one.

The Most Powerful Man in the World™ had no such fear, apparently.

That’s why he sent The Lord of War (or the Merchant of Death, if you prefer) to Russia in exchange for a dope-smoking woman’s basketball player.

Before I get into it, let me be clear about a few things:

• No one should be arrested for smoking a plant.
• However, one must respect foreign laws, especially when employed in said foreign country.
• Women’s sports suck. Period.
• But if you want to watch them, that’s your prerogative.
• Sending veteran arms dealers back home to fight against your soldiers is probably a bad idea.

Ok, let’s go.

Who’s Brittney Griner?

If you don’t remember the name, that’s ok. Here’s what I wrote about her earlier.

Quickly, Brittney Griner is an America-hating professional woman’s basketball player. Apparently, she’s one of the best women at the sport and can easily dunk a basketball.

She’s a hero in her hometown of Houston. And according to the barely literate White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre:

Brittney is more than an athlete, more than an Olympian, she is an important role model and inspiration to millions of Americans, particularly the LGBTQI+ Americans and women of color. She should never have been detained by Russia. And we are, I am, deeply proud of the work that the president has done, this administration has done, to get her home.

She should’ve never been detained?

That’s a lie.

Griner actually pled guilty to drug charges to get her sentence reduced. And she certainly had marijuana vaping capsules on her when arrested.

Again, I may not think someone should be arrested for smoking weed or possessing drug paraphernalia, but that’s not how the Russians feel about it… in their own country.

For some reason, Griner was so important to the Biden administration they decided to embark on a prisoner swap.

The man they chose to swap Griner for is none other than Viktor Bout, the Merchant of Death himself.

Yes, the man on whom the movie The Lord of War is based.

Clearly suffering from a bout of common sense, Senator Bob Menendez, D-N.J., chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, said there is no equivalence "between the Brittney Griners of the world and people like Viktor Bout."

More from Menendez, via Fox News:

Nothing could be further from the truth, and we cannot ignore that releasing Bout back into the world is a deeply disturbing decision. We must stop inviting dictatorial and rogue regimes to use Americans overseas as bargaining chips, and we must try to do better at encouraging American citizens against traveling to places like Russia where they are primary targets for this type of unlawful detention.

Then why on earth make this trade?

Who’s Viktor Bout?

I think it’s fair to say Viktor Bout (pronounced Boot) is an amoral logistics expert.

He doesn’t care about the guns, ammo, or anything else he’s shipping.

Bout is an excellent businessman who specialized in transporting contraband.

He also exacerbated conflicts all over Africa. But that didn’t - and doesn’t - matter one bit to him.

And that’s what makes him so dangerous.

Bout’s qualifications aren’t disputed.

But why would Vladimir Putin and his cronies want Bout - who specialized in shipping arms around Africa - out of prison?

It seems fishy to me until you read those headlines.

It’s worth noting that Bout also stole $32 billion worth of weaponry from Ukraine between 1992 and 1998.

It may have taken a while, but Bout’s words to The New Yorker proved correct:

“They will try to lock me up for life,” Bout told me. “But I’ll get back to Russia. I don’t know when. But I’m still young. Your empire will collapse, and I’ll get out of here.”

Perhaps the USG thinks he’s going to retire.

But if I were Bout, the first thing I’d say to Putin is, “Thank you, Comrade President. What can I do for you?”

And then, I’d get the band back together.

Because Russian agents now know the Kremlin won’t forget you.

No cyanide pill is required.

Just keep your mouth shut, and you’ll be home one day.

The US Marine Corps may feel differently.

His Name is Paul Whelan

Paul Whelan is still rotting in a Russian jail on some trumped-up espionage charge.

Expect more of them after this deal, by the way.

Whelan has four citizenships (US, Canadian, British, and Ireland), which may be why the US is dragging its feet.

He was also discharged from the Marines for bad conduct in 2008 after being convicted of larceny charges, which may not have helped.

From the Journal:

Mr. Whelan, a former U.S. Marine and corporate security executive from Novi, Mich., has been held in Russia since late 2018. He was convicted in 2020 on espionage charges that he has denied and has served two years of a 16-year sentence. 

“This was not a choice of which American to bring home. The choice was one or none,” Secretary of State Antony Blinken told reporters Thursday. “I wholeheartedly wish that we could have brought Paul home today on the same plane as Brittney.” 

Still, if you’re charged worldwide taxation, you’ve got the right to expect your government to get you out of some pickles.

Whelan thought he was coming home, but the US didn’t get it done.

The Russians refused to do a 2-for-1 swap, and America relented.

And the Americans - I genuinely don’t get this - refused to give up Roman Seleznev, the famous hacker for Whelan.

From the WSJ:

Seleznev, whom prosecutors described as “one of the most prolific credit card thieves in history” was convicted in 2016 on charges of hacking into hundreds of businesses and selling stolen data online, resulting in more than $169 million in fraud losses. A lawyer for Seleznev said he hadn’t been contacted by either the U.S. government or the Russian government about any potential exchange. 

Seleznev’s father is a member of the Russian parliament. So what?

The Fed prints up far more than $169 million per day!

They could’ve easily done a 2-for-2 deal.

Wrap Up

I’m happy Griner is out of prison.

No one deserves nine days, let alone years, in jail for vaping weed oil.

That she hates America isn’t germane to the conversation. She’s got a passport and, therefore, the right to her government’s help.

But trading her for Viktor Bout?

Insanity.

Expect an article, when we least expect it, detailing all the gunrunning Bout has started doing again at the behest of Vladimir Putin.

Politicians are always in it for the quick win and rarely, if ever, think down the road.

That goes double for 80-year-old Joke Biden.

Always beware of an old man in a hurry.

Have a great weekend!