• The Palestinians invaded southern Israel this weekend.
• They went medieval - alleged rape, torture - on the Israelis.
• The Israeli government will turn the Gaza Strip into a parking lot.

Good morning from chilly Northern Italy.

I was going to publish my Five Rude Predictions today. But events took over. I’ll save them for tomorrow.

Meanwhile, this weekend was great for figuring out who was who.

First, I’d like to send my condolences for the loss of the anti-war right. The anti-war right lived a short life, lasting only from February 24, 2022, to October 8, 2023.

The baying for blood from the Republican right - and even from the left - has been breathtaking.

Watch for this important change in your normie friends. I know I will.

Credit: @jacksonhinklle

In this Rude edition, I won’t rehash the incident. But I’ll point out the winners and losers. And boy, we’ve got plenty of both.

The Losers

The Palestinians

Obviously.

There’s nothing - and I mean nothing - that’ll steel the antipathy toward a people than the alleged rape, torture, and murder of innocent women. That’s right: the men, not so much. We understand men die in these situations. But we’re wired to wonder why women do. And to exact a toll on those who harm women.

No, not every Palestinian is responsible for what happened. Only individuals act. But they’ll all be blamed and suffer for the acts of those individuals.

What gets me is this: how can they be so goddamned stupid? Didn’t they think for a second: boy, the barn door is wide open… This is too easy… It must be a trap.

According to World Population Review, the average Palestinian IQ is 77.69. After this sordid episode, I can’t believe their leaders’ IQs would be much higher.

Credit: Batman Begins, Warner Brothers

The whole thing reminds me of Batman Begins. In the training scene, Ra’s Al Ghul tricks Bruce Wayne into attacking him on the ice, only for Bruce to fall through the ice.

Benjamin Netanyahu

This is from today’s Haaretz editorial, Israel’s newspaper of record:

In the past, Netanyahu marketed himself as a cautious leader who eschewed wars and multiple casualties on Israel’s side. After his victory in the last election, he replaced this caution with the policy of a “fully-right government,” with overt steps taken to annex the West Bank, to carry out ethnic cleansing in parts of the Oslo-defined Area C, including the Hebron Hills and the Jordan Valley.

This also included a massive expansion of settlements and bolstering of the Jewish presence on Temple Mount, near the Al-Aqsa Mosque, as well as boasts of an impending peace deal with the Saudis in which the Palestinians would get nothing, with open talk of a “second Nakba” in his governing coalition. As expected, signs of an outbreak of hostilities began in the West Bank, where Palestinians started feeling the heavier hand of the Israeli occupier. Hamas exploited the opportunity in order to launch its surprise attack on Saturday.

Above all, the danger looming over Israel in recent years has been fully realized. A prime minister indicted in three corruption cases cannot look after state affairs, as national interests will necessarily be subordinate to extricating him from a possible conviction and jail time.

This was the reason for establishing this horrific coalition and the judicial coup advanced by Netanyahu, and for the enfeeblement of top army and intelligence officers, who were perceived as political opponents. The price was paid by the victims of the invasion in the Western Negev.

RFK Jr.

How to sink your possible third-party candidacy in one easy tweet:

Credit: @RobertKennedyJr

The race to jump into the Israeli bed from America is ridiculous.

“But Israel is our ally,” you say?

Ok, then, where has it been for the last 20 months? Trying not to piss off Russia. There are lots of Russian Israelis, you know. (Just because I don’t blame them doesn’t absolve them.)

Nikki Haley

It’s impossible to take this woman-child seriously.

Credit: @NikkiHaley

No, Israel is not America.

And finish them? Do you mean “kill them all?” This looks suspiciously like a call for genocide.

Watching her speak is like watching Freaky Friday, except the daughter-in-her-mom’s body becomes a politician.

Europe

I got a great idea! Let’s let in 2,000,000 Muslim immigrants and then stick the Star of David on Brandenberg Gate!

Credit: @Bundeskanzler

And it’s not just him. It’s Rishi Sunak and Ursula von der Leyen, as well.

Macron was much more intelligent. Express condolences and support, and leave it at that.

An explosives-laden truck will crash through a Christmas market somewhere in Europe this upcoming season thanks to these imbeciles.

Ukraine (and especially Zelensky)

Who are ya? Who are ya?

What a perfect opportunity to bury this lot on the back pages!

Everyone who predicted a Ukraine win was wrong. And that’s a lot of people. Luckily, they have more important things to attend to, like pretending to care where all the money went. Allegedly, much of the munitions the Palestinians used were from… you guessed it… Ukraine.

The Zelensky as Churchill trope will become a meme forthwith.

Israeli Intelligence

Whether it’s Mossad (external security) or Shin Bet (internal security), someone screwed the pooch badly.

A sterling reputation lies in ruins. How could they just let the Palestinians in?

The Winners

Israeli Intelligence

Whether it’s Mossad (external security) or Shin Bet (internal security), someone came up with a genius plan.

A sterling reputation is further burnished. How could they know the Palestinians would walk through an open door and into the most obvious trap since James Bond went after the Lektor decoder in From Russia With Love?

Israel

Ukraine has aged like a fish. Israel is the hot, new thing in town. Get those Star of David flags on your profile. Yellow and blue are so 2022!

Anyone Who Wanted to Divert Attention Away from Ukraine

Vlad Putin must be pissing himself laughing right now. The US has just given him Ukraine. The US will be down in the Holy Land while he hoovers up Ukrainian farmland. BlackRock will be one unhappy asset manager after all this.

US Arms Dealers

Today, we celebrate the F-35. It doesn’t rain in the desert, so pilots won’t have to eject nearly so much. Lockheed, Raytheon… fill your boots!

Credit: @SallyMayweather

Donald J. Trump

Would you like some mean tweets with your world peace?

Wrap Up

As a “Leave Me the Hell Alone” Libertarian, I can think of a million things that need fixing. I’d rather fix those things than run off to a foreign land to fight a war.

But there are truths and facts. The truth is the Holy Land matters to a great deal of people. The fact is that part of the Middle East is a worthless piece of dirt utterly devoid of resources.

Should the economist in me sit in church? Or should the churchgoer sit in an economics class?

Israel turning the West Bank into a parking lot is a sure thing. But at what cost?

Maybe I’ll opt for the church first.