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Give Me Liberty or Give Me Beige!

Posted October 19, 2026

Matt Badiali

By Matt Badiali

Give Me Liberty or Give Me Beige!

Robin Hood was a libertarian…small “L”.

Yes, he fought the Sheriff of Nottingham and the Prince Regent.

But he didn’t “rob the rich and give to the poor.” That’s 20th-century revisionist nonsense.

Robin robbed the tax parasites who enriched themselves by stealing from the serfs. (That’s how the serfs became poor.) And Robin rightfully returned the money to those serfs.

Kind of like your annual tax refund, delivered by arrow.

Of course, Robin’s actions were illegal, but entirely moral. Legality asks only one question: “Will the State punish me for what I’ve done?” Morality, too, asks only one question: “Is this right or wrong?”

Morality sets life’s bar much higher. After all, slavery was legal. But it’s never moral. Stealing isn’t moral - we must pardon Jean Valjean, of course - but the State steals your hard-earned income every two weeks via income tax withholding.

The State is never the arbiter of right and wrong. And when the gap between what is right and what is legal metastasizes into a yawning chasm, the people who can vote with their feet start moving.

This is what prompted individuals to leave everything they knew in Europe and sail to the New World. They wanted to start over somewhere without an overbearing “authority” holding them back.

Don’t Dream. It’s Over.

Today, I’m calling it.

One of America’s founding principles, individual liberty at the expense of the State, is dead. Rest in Peace, Libertarianism, because the State won.

And you know what killed it?

Homeowners Associations.

That’s right, HOAs all across the country sprayed Roundup on the seeds of American libertarianism.

The history of individual liberty predates the United States. We codified it in the Declaration of Independence’s second paragraph:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

It doesn’t say anything about making the State happy. It doesn’t say anything about the State’s right to kill people, interfere in markets, or take property at its whim.

In fact, it states the opposite.

And yet, in America today, we see the Federal Government’s grubby tentacles wrapping around the country, squeezing the life out of it and putting its wants ahead of the people it governs.

The U.S.’s current policies are so far from Libertarian ideals that you can’t see any freedom in them.

Of course, an HOA fine and a federal agent’s bullet aren’t the same thing. But they grow from the same insidious seed: the belief that authority deserves obedience just because it’s authority.

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We’ve gotten used to surrendering small freedoms in exchange for convenience. We’ve stopped questioning who’s making the rules and why. We find out too late what happens when we finally refuse.

That’s how the ruinous habit of submission takes root. Once Americans accept that their neighbors can dictate what they do with their own property, it’s a much smaller leap to accepting that The Swamp can dictate what they do with their own lives.

The HOA may not have created the police state, but it taught Americans to tolerate petty tyrants.

Chad and Karen: Murderers

The death of libertarianism began when we agreed that Chad and Karen should form an organization to tell us the regulation height of our grass and the correct shade of beige to paint our homes.

With respect to my friend and Rude editor Sean Ring, “What are we? Europe?”

I grew up listening to music that fought against that kind of conformity. The Clash, The Police, Bob Marley, REM, U2, you name it. The 1980s alternative scene grew out of the anti-government protest movements of the 1960s and 1970s.

The idea of an HOA is enough to raise Marley’s shade in protest.

As far as I can tell, HOAs began in 1916 in Los Angeles. The Los Feliz Improvement Association created and enforced rules about architectural design, landscaping, and property maintenance.

They really caught on after World War II, as suburbs emerged. Today, more than 40 million housing units are subject to Chads and Karens. Nearly two-thirds of new single-family homes are built inside one. According to House Beautiful, HOAs have rules like:

  • No edible plants
  • Consistent curtain colors
  • No trucks or work vehicles
  • No tall fences
  • No RVs or boats
  • No pets over 10 pounds
  • No sidewalk chalk
  • No clotheslines
  • No grass over 3 inches high
  • Only white holiday lights
  • Guests must check in with the HOA

This is an exhaustive list, and it must be as exhausting as living in France!

Wrap Up

How far we’ve fallen as a country!

Our forefathers jumped on sailing ships to cross an ocean to unyoke the chains of Europe and Great Britain, then the world’s largest empire.

And yet, their descendants willingly climbed into chains of HOAs. The chains are shiny and uniform. Perhaps that’s why they revere them, much to the country’s detriment.

End of rant.

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