In three weeks, it’ll be the Ides of April, the 15th, when American taxes are due. As an expatriate, I’ll breathe my annual sigh of relief, as I no longer render anything unto Uncle Sam.

Besides the usual “taxation is theft” argument against taxes in general - and that’s a good one - the redistribution of American taxes has rapidly moved into the bullseye. Unbeknownst to you, you’ve been funding all sorts of foreign escapades. You may have heard about some of them in the press. But many more continue to come to light.

In this Rude, buckle up because I’ll show you the top 10 most ridiculous things DOGE has found the U.S. government—pardon me, taxpayers—has been funding.

Crisis Down Under

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of Aussies, Brits, Canadians, and Kiwis bragging about how they get “free” healthcare and “free” university education. It’s easy to have that when you’re not paying for your military… and if American taxpayers directly fund universities.

How about this? Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese was urged to call an emergency meeting after the Trump administration cut funding to seven Australian universities.

Let’s say generous Americans don’t mind sending over a few million dollars for scholarships as a gesture of friendship. But this is entirely different.

From the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (bolds mine):

Donald Trump's "America First" agenda is imperiling some of the funding to Australian universities, with the ABC confirming several projects have lost US government funding.

Australian universities rely on funding from the US government for their research, receiving about $400 million in 2024.

Come again?

People in Maui got $700 each when their houses burned down. People in North Carolina were homeless for months during winter after those terrible storms hit. We still don’t know the extent of the environmental damage in East Palestine. And we’re not sure what southern California will get.

The ABC continues:

The administration has already sent questionnaires to Australian researchers asking 36 questions on a wide range of topics, including drugs, US government transgender policies, and Christianity.

Some of the questions Trump has sent to Australian universities to justify US funding:

• Does your organization encourage free speech and encourage open debate and free sharing of information?
• Can you confirm that your organization does not work with entities associated with communist, socialist, or totalitarian parties, or any party that espouses anti-American beliefs?
• Can you confirm that your organization has not received ANY funding from the PRC (including Confucius Institutes and/or partnered with Chinese state or non-state actors), Russia, Cuba, or Iran?
• Can you confirm this is not a climate or "environmental justice" project or include such elements?
• Does this project directly contribute to limiting illegal immigration or strengthening US border security?

"If this was any other country, it verges on foreign interference. It's just remarkable."

Excuse me, but why are Americans funding research at Australian universities? How much less would tuition fees be if the USG kept those grants in the country? How much could U.S. taxpayers keep in their pockets without these “foreign donations?”

The next time your friends ask you about Elon and DOGE, tell them this story. And here are nine other staggering cases of taxpayer funds abuse.

The Nefarious Nine

A big thanks to Grok, who helped me gather all these:

HIV Prevention and Other Health Programs (Halted, Previously Hundreds of Millions)
Before recent cuts, the U.S. spent significant sums—potentially hundreds of millions—on HIV prevention, malaria, and tuberculosis programs abroad through USAID. While humanitarian in intent, the Trump administration’s freeze on such funding reflects a view that these programs don’t align with immediate "America First" priorities.

Climate and Environmental Justice Projects Abroad (Unspecified Millions)
DOGE advocates have targeted broad funding for climate initiatives and "environmental justice" in foreign nations as part of the "Green New Deal" agenda. The costs could be in the millions, but precise public breakdowns are lacking.

Iraq Sesame Street ($20M)
Around $20 million has been spent on producing an Iraqi version of Sesame Street, intended to promote education but criticized as an inefficient use of funds in a volatile region.

USAID Condoms for Taliban ($15M)
USAID provided $15 million worth of condoms to the Taliban, presumably as part of humanitarian programs in Afghanistan. Last time I heard, demographic demise via condoms isn’t a viable war strategy. This is a self-evidently absurd use of funds.

Migrant Vouchers in Central America ($14M)
A program providing vouchers to migrants in Central America has been criticized for incentivizing migration rather than addressing its root causes or directly benefiting U.S. citizens.

LGBT Groups in Africa ($1M)
$1 million has been allocated to support LGBT organizations in Africa, raising questions about cultural imposition and its relevance to U.S. taxpayers.

Promoting Atheism in Nepal ($446K)
Another cited example is a grant to promote atheism in Nepal, a project seen as frivolous and disconnected from U.S. national interests, especially in a region with minimal strategic priority.

Afghan Basket Weaving (~$100K)
Six figures have been spent teaching basket weaving in Afghanistan, which is framed as economic development but is mocked as a trivial expense with little measurable impact.

Ecuador Drag Show ($20K)
A drag show in Ecuador has been highlighted as an example of niche cultural funding many taxpayers find extravagant and unnecessary.

Keep this list handy next time someone complains about Elon cleaning up the government.

Wrap Up

Americans are already among the most generous people on Earth in terms of charity. But the government confiscating taxpayer funds and then redistributing them abroad on frivolous programs is an insult to those who’ve recently hit the skids at home. Whether it’s Maui, East Palestine, Appalachia, or California, these people must be first in line regarding the redistribution of funds.

Of course, I’d prefer the government collect much less and let you decide where to send your money. But that’s an argument for another day.

Have a great week ahead!