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Posted February 09, 2022

Sean Ring

By Sean Ring

Hail to the Commies!

  • The team formerly known as the Redskins are now the Washington Commanders.
  • Hail to the Redskins! was the most famous fight song in the NFL.
  • Im not sure they thought this through.

Happy Thursday!

One more day to go.

My class concludes today, and its been fun.

Ill be discussing private banking with the kids, and Ive got loads of hilarious stories about millionaires and billionaires scrambling to protect their wealth for - or from - their wives and children.

Its always a hoot.

Speaking of errant billionaires, Daniel Snyder, the Washington NFL franchise owner, just renamed it The Commanders.

Queue snickering from all corners.

Perhaps its a solid choice. Well soon find out.

Me? I just cant wait for all the fans talking about the Washington Commies!

New Jersey, the 80s

One of the reasons its so disappointing to see America in its current state is because it was once Heaven on Earth.

Even Joisey.

I grew up in Hasbrouck Heights, a town of two square miles about 8 miles west of New York City.

You can see the mighty skyline from my hometown, as were on a hill. Hence, the Heights.

Not only was my little slice of suburbia safe and cozy, but it was also fun.

My God, it was fun.

We were all sports fanatics, though I didnt blossom into a good athlete until high school.

Gen Xers like me - I was born in late 1974 - had it all, really.

The Reagan economic boom (and the sheer cluelessness regarding the 87 crash, as we were too young) was in full force.

The Soviet Union, though it scared us, was rethinking things through perestroika and glasnost.

America was the most envied country around the world and for good reason.

But the best part was the sports.

I dont mean to sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but the athleticism of that time remains unsurpassed.

Wayne Gretzky, hockeys greatest ever, was in the midst of a Stanley Cup run that would take in 4 titles. My hockey hero, Mark Messier, would add Edmontons 5th after Gretzky left for Los Angeles and another for the Rangers in 1994.

Messier remains the only man to captain two different sides to a Stanley Cup title.

Magic Johnson and Larry Bird owned the NBA before a young phenom named Michael Jordan took over the business in the 90s.

Of the hated Red Sox, Wade Boggs won batting title after batting title.

Bo Jackson went to the Pro Bowl and the All-Star Game and remains the only man ever to have done so.

A young heavyweight powerhouse named Mike Tyson ripped through boxing, the youngest boxer ever to win a heavyweight title. He was also the first heavyweight boxer to simultaneously hold the WBA, WBC, and IBF titles and the only heavyweight to unify them in succession.

But the NFL was an embarrassment of riches.

Thanks to the dulcet tones of Pat Summerall and the booming enthusiasm of John Madden, both now sadly passed, my Sundays were indeed holy.

Growing up only 4 miles from the old Giants Stadium, in the Meadowlands, while Lawrence Taylor was tearing up NFL offenses was the very definition of privilege.

Back then, being a Giants fan started out as a challenge.

They absolutely sucked in the 70s - kind of like now, really - and some guy named Bill Parcells became Head Coach. Some other young guy named Bill Belichick was named defensive coordinator.

I can hear Summerall call out that linebacker corps now - Banks, Carson, Reasons, and Taylor.

Since we got both the Giants and the Jets games, I saw a Hall of Famer a week, at least.

Marino, Montana, and Elway.

You know, back when NFL QBs knew how to run a two-minute offense.

Walter Payton. Jerry Rice. The entire 85 Bears.

When the NFC always won the Super Bowl.

But my favorite Sundays of the year were when the Giants played the Redskins.

The Rivalry

They always seemed to play their first game on a crisp autumn afternoon

The leaves were shades of red, orange, and yellow, and the air brisk.

Apple cider pumpkin patches Giants in blue Redskins wearing white.

I must admit that though I was bred to hate the Redskins, I loved them, too.

Joe Theismann, John Riggins, The Hogs.

A legendary team.

Joe Gibbs would become the first coach to win three Super Bowls with three different quarterbacks.

And when they were playing the Giants, it was a colossal collision of two proud teams.

With two Giant Super Bowl victories and three Redskin ones from 1982 to 1991, it was a fantastic time.

But now, things are different.

Both teams suck, but one underwent a facelift.

The Commies

I wont get into the racial overtones of the Redskins name, other than to say we probably would never name a team the Ho-Ho-Kus Honkies.

That horse has been beaten to death.

But I will say this: something was there. And now its gone.

Sure, Daniel Snyder is trying to put lipstick on a pig.

Give them a new name, but keep the colors.

But why youd keep maroon and yellow for a team named the Commanders is beyond me.

Of course, Snyder is trying to keep continuity.

But the thing is, just because you say something is the same doesnt mean it is.

And Giants-Commanders just doesnt have the same ring to it.

And yet, a red team, based in the nations capital, named the Commies?

Oh, thatll provide decades worth of entertainment.

And yes, the Internet wastes no time:

Watching Pat McAfee and his team chanting Here we go Commies, Here we go! is hilarious.

Thats just a few of the choice pieces of fodder on the net right now.

Wrap Up

Thank you, Daniel Snyder.

Weve got another appropriately named team in the NFL.

Because theres no Commie-redder town in the country than Washington.

I look forward to next season when your stadiums fans are chanting, Hail to the Commies!

Until tomorrow.

All the best,

Sean

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